Promises of Marriage

Rereading this I realize it may be a little bit scatter-brained, but I had a lot of things to say this week. They all have to do with transitioning into marriage: The struggles there can be, things that may be unexpected, but also the importance of the promises that we make. The first thing I want to share is a quote from Russel M. Nelson. He says, “Make it easy for her to want to be yours” in a talk he gives called “We Can Do Better and Be Better.” I love this quote! The quote can go both ways for men and women, but the importance of it is your mindset that you have towards your spouse or any relationship. When we do things that help someone enjoy being around us and they feel comfortable and safe, it is so much easier for them to want to be with us. We can all think of people that we like to be around and certain things that they do that make it so.

These days such a huge emphasis is put on the wedding. It seems like what’s more important to most people is trying to throw a party for their friends, rather than having the day be focused on the bride and groom’s relationship. Even while dating/during engagement I think that putting the focus on “how are we going to blend our lives together” rather than “who is going to come and how are our pictures going to look?” should be the priority. We are so easily distracted by what we think other people will think that the most important aspects of a wedding are, maybe not forgotten, but often overshadowed. Now, I’m not married yet, but This is definitely something that I have seen happen before and it is so sad. I feel, and I think everyone would agree when they think about it, that the biggest focus is on the promises being made that day.

There is a lot to be said about how promises are made in a wedding ceremony. There is a difference between a contract and a covenant. A contract is an agreement between two people or entities where both sides have to agree to the terms. With this type of agreement it is easy for someone to fall short of their commitment, especially in marriage, and then the other person in the contract may no longer feel obligated to keep up their side and things can fall apart. With a covenant on the other hand, the terms are set by one party of the agreement and the other person or persons choose to accept them or not. They do not have to join the agreement if they do not want to. If they do agree to the terms however, in marriage, there is a commitment being made more than just to your spouse. There is almost an obligation to hold up your side of the promise due to it being to either the community or to God. Both a husband and wife will fall short at some point in a marriage, but in a covenant marriage their promises may be directed towards each other, but they were made to an outside entity. This is what brings that obligation. In my belief marriage is intended to last past this life. This makes how we promise in marriage very important. The covenant with the Lord is the most important part. He sets the terms and promises different blessings and help as you strive to grow together. This goes back to the growing towards God helps you grow together that I talked about a few weeks ago. This isn’t just going to last this life, but the next as well. Act like it.There is a lot to learn, we will all make mistakes, but when we are committed, any challenge can be worked through.

There is a lot more I could say about growing together during the first year of marriage and on, but I think I will save that for another time. There is so much to talk about!