Our Needs

First, I just want to link a video. There is an amazing presentation by Hyrum Smith where he walks you through what he calls the belief window. Things that we place in that window are due to us striving to satisfy one of the four basic needs of human beings. The need to love/beloved, survive, feel important, and the need for variety. Today I’m going to talk a little bit more specifically about the needs of children, but each of the items that I talk about fit into one of those four needs. So, I highly recommend that you go and take a look at that link. I first heard that presentation about a year and a half ago and I have found that it applies to my life frequently. Self Worth

Now, for any good parents, they have the desire for their children to be healthy and happy. I count myself very blessed. I would describe the atmosphere in which I grew up quite idyllic. This does not mean that my parents gave me everything or that I had no worries, because to me, that would not be idyllic. However, I have grown up with a strong support system, in an amazing place, I learned to work hard and play hard, and most importantly, I had a family who taught me to put God first. I consider myself very blessed. I know that not everyone has had this same experience, and to no fault of their own. I hope to help give some advice on six basic needs of all children that can hopefully help families grow stronger together.

The need for physical contact

This can seem strange, but think about your own desire for contact. Whether that is just eye contact, vocal contact, or actual embracing. When this need is met children are happier and healthier. I’ll link a talk that includes a description of the effects of showing loving contact when an experiment was being performed with rabbits. Hearts Knit Together

The need to help

This is a huge one! Think about a child pretending. What is it they are often pretending to do? It’s things that you are doing. This may be cooking, cleaning, gardening or many other things. I know that I loved to play pretend as a kid. I also was asked to help my family in every chore and activity. I may not have always enjoyed it or wanted to help, but now I am so grateful that I was always asked to do so.

The need for Power (ability to make decisions)

This need comes down to trusting kids. They may not always make the best or right choice, but it is important for them to learn that with choice comes responsibility. Of course keep in mind that keeping them out of danger or harming things that belong to others is also a priority. (choice + consequences = responsibility)

The need for protection

This need is pretty obvious. All children need to feel protected and loved.

The need for withdrawal

Everyone needs a break sometimes. This withdrawal does not mean avoiding problems, but having an opportunity of variety allows time to think and get refreshed.

The need for challenge

This is where a lot of growth comes from. I’ll use the classic of learning to ride a bike. There are many attempts made, and not many are successful at first. But this allows children to have a sense of achievement and know that they can overcome obstacles.

I didn’t touch on these two much, but I’m sure that you can see their importance. As I review them I see how they are also important for adults! I feel the need for all these things. For a child however, the consequences of these needs being met or not can have a major impact on their growth. I am so grateful that I have been able to experience all of these things at some point in my upbringing and hope that others can too.