Moving Forward with Confidence

What has happened to dating? In my observation of today’s world, there is a staggering amount of couples who never even go on dates! How does this even make any sense? I learned this week that there are actual names for different patterns of “dating” and what they are, but the “old fashioned” way is still my favorite. There is a pattern of dating, courtship, engagement, and finally marriage. This may seem out of date, but it really is such a special thing. When dating, which is going on lots of dates with different girls, you are learning to be solely responsible for that other person for a given amount of time. You are there to help them stay safe, happy, and have an enjoyable time while you are on a planned ahead, paid for, and paired off. As you progress to courtship you are still going on actual dates, but you are focused on one individual. You now have a repeated commitment to that boy or girl for every date you go on, and then during engagement that time increases until eventually it leads to marriage. This commitment of time is so important to me. The idea of things being defined makes each date so much more meaningful, even if you’re just going to have some good clean fun.

I also had an amazing experience this week where I saw one of the happiest couples I have ever met. I had the unique opportunity this week to go and record John Schmidt and his wife Michelle. I love filming and had some experience with it on my mission, so when I got this opportunity I jumped on it. So on Sunday I drove down to Provo and had the pleasure of being in their home. We had an interview with them as a couple and then recorded a brief testimony from him, followed by two musical items. Everything that these two amazing individuals shared showed their love for their family and for God. It was amazing to see that fame and fortune had not diminished their faith or their kindness. One experience that they talked about was how they met and dated. I  do not remember exactly how that story unfolded, but the love and respect that they had for each other from the start was obvious to me. This happy couple has been through a lot recently with the passing of loved ones, but their understanding of God’s plan and that there is in fact an afterlife filled the home with happiness and hope. I knew that this couple was committed to each other no matter what challenges may arise.

This commitment is something that I think most people are afraid of in today’s world. There are so many divorces and breakups that need not happen. I think sometimes this is due to some older traditions dying out. People think that cohabitation prior to being married will help them understand one another better and be less likely to divorce, when in actuality studies show the opposite. I often hear that people think it is more wise to wait until you have an established career and are more mature to be married when there is something special about growing up together. Getting married at a younger age gives you shared experiences. As you learn and grow together you learn to have an interdependence on one another. When couples marry later in life you are already accustomed to solving everything on your own, and that can make working together as husband and wife that much more difficult. Marriage is a beautiful thing and it should not be postponed for selfish reasons and it should be sought after with confidence.