More on Marriage

 Here’s some more on marriage. I’m no expert, but I am learning. And today I’m goint to start with some scriptural references. God told Adam that Eve was to be a “help meet.” For most of my life I felt like that was kind of a derogatory phrase, but I have come to understand that this means more of, does this person provide  the help that is meet for me and do I do the same for them? It is to be equals and work side by side with one another. And that is how marriage should be. “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18) This statement has even more meaning when you understand the context of the creation. After each “day” of creation God said, “it is good.” until this day. It was never God’s intent for us to be alone. We are made so that we can have families and live in happiness with them (even if it doesn’t always feel so happy).

Being a couple is not only important in God’s plan, but it is a huge benefit in life as well. Those who have a healthy relationship are seen to live longer, live healthier–both physically and emotionally–survive major operations more, etc. than those that are single. This can also bring confidence in one’s life. Those who are merely cohabitating rather than married often struggle with worry about the other’s level of commitment. Marriage brings surety to the other’s commitment  to you. While I was speaking with someone about this he agreed. He has been dating his girlfriend for a while now and said that he would definitely be all in if he proposed. That action brings a sense of surety even in a situation that can be daunting for most people. There is a level of obligation that I believe is healthy in a marriage.

That level of obligation can also change depending on the type of marriage. Like I talked about last week, there is a difference between a covenant and a contract marriage. If you haven’t read it I suggest that you at least go read that paragraph. I thought it was quite important. This new type of relationship however, does not come without its challenges. Indeed, marriage may very well be one of the most challenging things there is. There is no need for it to be miserable though. Men and women are different, and while this brings different strengths into a relationship, it also brings different weaknesses. A couple must be open and honest, as well as understanding. Both sides are learning and growing together, and that is the beauty of it. You are merging two separate lives into one, trusting that you will be better together than you are separate. I believe that this is especially true when couples include God in their relationship. When they council together with the Lord through prayer they are able to overcome challenges and accomplish miracles. The biggest miracle being the raising of a family. Never undersell the magnificence and miraculousness of the family.

When children come into the equation there will be even more new challenges and struggles. A husband and wife’s relationship will change, and this is very important to understand. Someone taught me that when children come along you usually agree on more things, but you perceive that you agree on less. I’m not sure exactly why this would be the case, but this increases the importance of communication. Both parents were raised differently and probably have different ideas of what is most important in raising children. As they learn together they have to learn how to best raise their children together. It will be difficult for mn to understand everything that a woman goes through, but it is important for men to be involved and informed in every part of pregnancy and upbringing. This tightens the couples relationship rather than pulling them apart when he, or she, doesn’t understand the other. And no matter the situation in marriage and family, it is not the challenges that are faced, but how they are handled.